This is my favorite time of year. It's a busy time, with the hustle and bustle of the holidays, but it's also a time of deep reflection. Looking back to look forward. Snuggling in with a fluffy blanket, a huge mug filled with something steaming, and my notebook, ready to ask myself "what did I do with these last 11 months?"
When I lived in the Pacific Northwest, I leaned into Christmas to distract myself from the way the weather—the dark, the gloom—seeped into my skin, my bones, my soul. I'd skip the reflecting and jump straight to resolving: be thinner, richer, more accomplished. The new year would feel less gloomy because I had goals.
Now I live in Chandler, and the desert is having its moment. It's cold in the mornings, but cold in the "you really should put on a sweater" way, not a "freeze your tongue to the lamp post" way. The sun comes out and warms our backs while we take afternoon walks.
And the cooler temps give way to reflection. What happened these last 11 months that I want to remember? And how can I prime my brain to recall my "best of 2025" list when the human instinct to self-criticize is strong.
Reflecting isn't about wishing I'd done more of something or less of something else. It's tallying up the good. The highlight reel. The things I want to remember.
- I came up with my favorite mantra so far: I always get what I want. When I say that to myself, I see proof of that truth everywhere. It's not toxic positivity. Rather, it's changing the lens— zooming in to see the good in my home, zooming out to enjoy a delightful sunrise — that makes me feel like I'm the king of the world. Even if it just means getting what I want for dinner.
- I changed my entire business model, learned more than I ever thought possible about a new field, and became a software founder.
- I stuck to a weightlifting program and have continued to build muscle without tying myself to an outcome. For the first time, I'm exercising without a goal, other than to get stronger as I age.
- I lost 20 pounds, and while I feel like that shouldn't be exciting for a whole host of reasons, it is. I bought a pair of jeans in a size 2 the other day, something I have never done ever in my life.
- I read a lot for pleasure and joined Goodreads again. I'd stopped logging my reads over there because it felt too goal-oriented. I even saw on my library app a category of "quick-reads to help you reach your goal" and was put off by that. My goal with reading is simply to read. To lose myself in the world of fiction. Nonfiction, too, of course, but I can't get lost in it.
- I implemented a "family cleaning day" and that has been a nontrivial source of positive mental energy, and, I hope, something my kids will take with them when they're grown.
- Speaking of those kids, I stopped my work day at 3:15 so I could sit with them while they did their homework. That has fallen a bit by the wayside, but Brent is there to sit with them now that the habit has been established.
- I traveled with my family to the northwest and spent time with friends and family in Portland and Boise.
- I went on a solo trip to Sedona where I hiked and worked on my own schedule, without having to consider a single other soul for five days.
- I went on a fancy trip to the Canadian Rockies that one of my best friend's in-laws couldn't take, which meant that my friend and I got to celebrate our 50th wedding anniversary even though we're just on opposite sides of 40.
- I saw my other best friend not once, but twice, on separate girls weekends.
- Then I got to miss some of the worst heat of the summer by spending two weeks of serious quality time with my sister, her husband, and their kids.
- I established a weekly hiking routine with another best friend and that one thing has improved my mood (not to mention my fitness and my happiness in the Phoenix area) tenfold.
- I turned our dining room/sitting room area into a movie room, complete with dark blue walls and hand-me-down furniture from my in-laws. This made such a huge impact to our home that everyone kept talking about how it felt like we moved. It also felt like our house grew by increasing the usable space.
Looking at the list, the theme that feels like the general through line of my year has been that the best things have happened when I stopped reaching for goals and started following threads that interested me.
I thought I'd be ready to launch Glow Social in March, but actually launched in November. How can a mortal even know how long it takes to develop software after all? so I let it go.
Turns out, I can't control most things.
I certainly couldn't control the happy surprises that would come my way by allowing flexibility and curiosity to keep things moving.
Planning for the new year will come.
But looking back on 2025 — especially with the angle of "let's not forget the good things" — has made me feel happy and fulfilled.